Daily Mail reporter delighted with “shot on target”

Football reporter, Jason Sallisbury, from global news Goliath, Daily Mail, has today told colleagues over lunch that he is delighted with his early window transfer reporting.

Having “broken” the news that Manchester United were planning to send loanee, Sergio Reguilon, back to Tottenham Hotspur — a prospect clearly stated in the initial loan announcement — Jason is now positively humming with his current rate of one correct “exclusive” from the nine published since the winter transfer window opened - a lofty 11%.

“That’s just less than four times the wider teams summer transfer window success rate” grinned Jason.

Down the corridor from the lunch room, the editors, the interns, and literally everyone else on the third floor, could hear proclamations of “best year ever”, and lines they know were accompanied by fist pumps such as “here we fucking go”, “shoot to score” and “start how you plan to finish”.

Meanwhile, first year journalism student at the University of Birmingham, Wendy Lightfoot, decided to take her sandwich outside, despite the January weather. Wendy, who is currently in her fourth week as an intern in the department dedicated to covering the Royal Family, told our journalist “Those football reporters piss me off. They make stuff up all day for clicks. They have never done a proper days work in their lives. They reek of BO. AND they go home with a nice pay cheque each month. They’re worse than the King for Christ sake”

More from Jason and Wendy as it comes.